THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORKBy Daniel Canada c.2010
I used napkins to wipe my mouth, to wipe my hands from grease after I ate, to wash my hands from dirt and debris. I used napkins to blow my nose, to wipe my-well, you know-in cases where there was no toilet paper available. I used napkins to wrap food, or a valuable thing. I used napkins to wedge a public bathroom door shut that had no lock. I used napkins to scribble my thoughts and to write the outline of this book upon.
If I were to attempt to enumerate all the purposes in which I can put the napkin to, I’d have to write a separate brochure, just on the usage of napkins. However, I will not overwhelm you with all the minuscule details.
Suffice it to say, napkins go a long way when you’re homeless. So, the next time you’re in a fast food joint, like Burger King or Wendy’s, glom as many napkins as you physically can carry away, without causing a scene, and save them up for a time when you're really going to be need them.
And that pretty-much…wipes it.