Friday, August 30, 2013

Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt # 12)

 By Daniel Canada c.2010
TIME (Continued)

If you’re late, you’re shit out of luck. Food and supplies run out fast and survival is only for the swift out here. Homeless folks who can’t make it on time to these places aren’t going to last very long on the streets. Thus, the need to always be cognizant of the time.

Believe or not, homeless people are never late for meals. Amazing, isn't it? Yeah, they all have their grub meters tuned and calibrated to the next and nearest soup kitchen. It’s remarkable to watch how a “Skeksy” who seems out of his or her mind most of the day, walking around, talking out loud to themselves in gaga land, can manage to locate the next soup kitchen and get there well in advance of time.

It is indeed puzzling.

If you can scrape up enough cheddar to purchase a cheap five-dollar watch or get a cheap cell phone, it would serve you well. If you can’t afford regular, competitive, baby Ma-Bell phone service, you can always buy a TracPhone from Duane Reades or your neighborhood dime store. They’re very inexpensive, and you won’t accrue a monthly bill.
What is more, it has an automatic time digital display!

In the event you just can’t afford to buy a watch, then it’s time to live off the land, trooper. This calls for an observant eye that looks out for clocks and digital displays throughout the many buildings and billboards that carry these, on your travels about town.

Clocks and digital read-outs are practically everywhere!
If you take a good look around you will see clocks of all kinds, just about anywhere you go. They’re on buildings, advertisement signs and what have you. You can even find digital displays on the modern meters located on most city blocks.

The point being, you don’t have to be lost for time just because you don’t have a timepiece. No matter where you are you can always, as Flavor Flav once said, "know what time it is…Boy-ee!"

Now, that the day is drawing to a rapid close, and you're chomping at the bit to hunker down for a good night's rest in one of your well-selected places, you'll need to stash your precious bags and items while you sleep. Knowing where to tuck my valuables away was another important skill I had to acquire promptly.
So we'll discuss that next.



O.k., now you’ve glommed just about everything your big-ass, glom hand can attract. So, what the hell are you going to do with all that swag and accessories, Skek Prince? This is where it comes in handy to have a well-hidden spot to stash all your gear and supplies.

(To be continued...)