Dirge
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1997]
And to this end
May we ever be struggling
In vain for the one and only opportunity
To feel whole and to distance ourselves from our destiny.
To mourn the past once and for good, and
To never look back upon the path whence
We shall never travel again. And in darkened hours
To grope with the certain success of failure for
The life to which we futilely grasp.
And to this end may we sigh the breath
Of sorrow, and regret the path unto which
We alone have chosen, the path into oblivion.
To seek forever in vain the light again through cracks
And crevices of caves lodged deep within the bowels
Of the heart of the earth; ancient and furlong,
Breathless and eternal, unlike the exhalation
Of life that we have been in the sight
Of God.
And to dream of paradise, a memory
Too distant and too far away, like a dream
Abruptly ended and then forgotten.
Only to awaken to another day of darkness,
Pitched in its own insistence upon darkness,
Unyielding and unforgiving, promising eternity
In its own way.
So down we fall into oblivion,
A fall so permanent and absolute
That inertia and motion are all the same.
And all anticipation of cessation have vanished
Along with any hope of escape from futility.
Where there is no wind like the wind that once
Caressed our face when we were alive and roamed
The earth freely, basking in the warmth of the
Mortal sun.
But, in the fathomless darkness, like a match
Struck in a concealed place, there is a flicker of hope,
Faint and lonely, fragile like a passing thought,
Existing on its own energy, drawing substance from
Nowhere. The light flickers until we futilely grasp for it only
To clumsily extinguish the fledgling light with our own hands.
And now we are all eternal, eternally hopeless,
Falling together without any knowledge of light;
Without knowledge of falling, and for all we know
The entire world and all existing systems of order
Outside of the void have long since vanished and are not.
And only we are, and what we are we do not know,
Nor do we care to know, for all knowledge is
Incomprehensible in the heart of the void, which is now
The only world in which we need to know. And all sense
Of time as it was once known in the world is forever
Forgotten and forever lost.
And soon our consciousness reaches viscosity
Due to the lack of thought other than eternity
A thought too weighty and nigh, too wearisome
And cumbersome to struggle with.
Yes, therefore our minds gladly accept the abrasion
Of mental viscosity, a haven from thought,
And a silent and peaceful path into eternity.
