MIND'S IN A WHIRLWIND...

Dust Motes
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp fro, "Zen is Now" C. 1991]


alone i walked
down a cobblestone street
the rain washing the
sound of my feet
beating on the slippery pavement

delicate shafts of moonlight
break through between the
stalagmite overcast sky
the stars are distant shouts
behind murky clouds

my thoughts are murky
and brown like the
ale i consumed
in some smoke filled bar
i forgot the name of

my lover's gone
and i don't know why
she wouldn't say
she just stood there
in her oversized plaid sports jacket
stoically brooding
behind luminescent green eyes

the embers of a
once smoldering fire
dying out leaving them
in the gray ashes of
hazel patience

i stumble upon
a sidewalk curb
that the city officials
decided to raise

i stagger into the
belly of some darkened
alleyway and offset the
delicate ecological balance
of its nocturnal inhabitants
cats purr and rodents
noisily scamper away
their tails knocking loudly
against tin

i threw my head back
to drink the nurturing
milk of the murky stars
and ponder my lot in life
and ponder yours

just then an opportunistic wind
whips up the once unseen
dust motes around me
just then i

as i watched the whirlwind
eddies upon eddies
spinning about me
in some ancient dance

i finally understood
that we were only
two dust motes
whirled together
by the wind
and that it shall never
whirl us together again

TO HOBO BOB...

Ma Vodka Bottle
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Expcerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1992]



As long as it doesn't show
and as long as it doesn't fall out
i can endure the humiliation
of human dignity

As long as i don't slurp
when i draw
and as long as it doesn't
slip from my paw
when i hit the floor
i can enjoy the brief illusion
of serenity

As long as i don't run outta bills
and as long as i
can still make my way
to the liquor store up the hill
i aint gotta a’ member 'bout
my loneliness

As long as i can just
…keep it coming
THE HELL WITH THE NUMBING!
yeah…and the dumbing
i can have the thrill of
being real
and get to feel
my one and only-ness!
…Whoooh!!!

HICCUUUP!!!...

Prayer of the Drunk
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerop from "Zen is Now" c. 1990]



i will stagger
from the light
and will walk the walk
of the preternatural
i will have intimacy with vertigo
i will swear without fear of life
without shame of fear
i will speak in the tongue of the few
and reveal secrets
hidden deep inside of me
i shall make promises
that i shall forget
and break
make passionate love
and in the morning forsake you
and when i rise
i shall pray fervently
…to a god of porcelain!

Chances
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1985]



What are the chances of fire becoming ice?
What are the chances of snow becoming rain?
Being without you could never suffice
Knowing that I'll never see you again someday

What are the chances of us sweet moments again to share?
When I close my eyes I can still see you near
An east wind comes and blows your lovely hair
I reach for you only to see you disappear

What are the chances of fire becoming ice?
What are the chances of snow becoming rain?
Being without you could never suffice
Knowing that I'll never see you again someday

HEAD & EYES FORWARD U!!!...

AWOL
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" C. 2001]



"left
your left
your left right'ol left
right'ol left right left…"



i still hear the drill sergeant
shouting over my back
while i'm lying in the leaning rest
so where am i going to go now? ["group…a-ten-shun!"]

i still hear the rumble
of the M60 blasting away
while i'm low crawling in FTX
so where am i gonna go now? ["half-right-face!"]

i still feel the rope
tied around my waist
i'm repelling from a ranger tower
now the rope's around my neck

i still march in double time
singing cadences
like i'm out of my mind
with my boots blinking like the sun
so where am i gonna go next?

i'm standing in parade rest
while waiting in a Mc Donald's line
reciting my orders to myself
so what am i gonna do next? ["pre-sent-arms!"]

turn myself into levingsworth
figure out a way to do my time
for committing the crime
a second time
FTR vrs ETS

i still feel the heavy boot
of a sergeant resting on my back
as i'm lying in the leaning rest
cold sweat
as i stumble out of my bed ["or-der-arms!"]

i still see me
present
court marshal
in my class A's
standing at attention
eyes forward
with nothing to say

i should've loaded a magazine
locked and loaded an M16
selector switch from safe to semi
and put it right up to my head! ["ready-aim-fire!"]

i still hear two hundred soldiers
shouting, "death before dishonor!"
roger that
drill sergeant say,
'don't run away!'
you're better off being dead



"left
your left
your left right'ol left
right'ol left right left…"

SING!: "IF EYE ONLY HAD A HEART..."

Demise

"…it is acquired".

-LordLumiel The wise





This Heart of Mine

by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Exerp from "Zen is Now" c. 2001]



chiseled from stone
at the side of some
tired mountain

dropped into the tired hands
of tired workers
down
the slope of a quiet
valley
floated upon waters
upon rafters across
a stream

fashioned by angry
hammers into a
recognizable shape
sanded and grinded
down into some
acceptable form

fitted into a multitude
of forms just like it

overthrown by Cyrus The Great
by Mehmed The 2nd
leveled by the relentless blast
of canons
overran by a myriad
enemy hordes

treaded
by sandaled feet
grounded into powder
dust under the sinking sun

then placed into a leather pouch
for keep sake by some victorious
warrior

HEED THE CALL!...

SCYTHIAN TRUMPETS
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1999]



Scythian trumpets
Scythian trumpets!

Blaring
in a wasteland that i
once called my home

Tracks of my forefather's fields overran
house of my god's overthrown
into the dust
where wheels of my chariot turns
slowly into rust

Blown away
with the faded echoes of children
once playing in the market places
sighs
of my daughter's disgraces
pressed into the cold bosoms of these
'wild men of the north'!

Fires
consuming all that my hands have wrought

Scythian trumpets
Scythian trumpets!
blaring
in a wasteland
that i
once called my home

SIGN-O-THE TIMES...

TOWER OF BABEL

by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerpt from "Zen is Now" c. 2000]



Space shuttle's view: "Houston, the world's so
Small, while babylon's tower's looming tall!…"



Strike the stone!
strike the sand
the sun and the moon
the lines in your hand
a cool winter breeze and flame
laughter wild and untamed
the waxing moon
the shaded dune
eagle feathers
roaring lion's ruffled mane
saber tooth and pain
the pursed lip
the jagged cliff
the fatal slip
twisted hip
soil and stain
dark clouds
roaring crowds
thunder dome!
a shaman's bones ringing in a pan
the warning hand writing upon the wall
ozone's hole
field goal!
civilization's final fall
satellites
and meteorites
a yellow and weathered bible's pages flips
to the pages of the apocalypse!
while babylon's tower's looming tall…



Space shuttle's view: "Houston, the world's so
Small, while babylon's tower's looming tall!…"

REFLECTIONS...

IMAGES OF MY MIND
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1978]



When that charcoal coloured amber sun
burns slowly off the scene
i close my eyes to this world
and dream a dream
there images of you in my mind
ever seen so clear then disappear
when i gently caress your darkened hair
surprise and unaware is your response to me
while unspoken your eyes can calm the sea
when those waves of oblivion start to rise
you just touch them
and watch the sea subside
all of these images lie far behind
in those images of my mind
now i'm afraid to touch you
for fear i may be awaken
to find myself alone in my room
again with my heart shaken
so i'll just watch you off in a distance
and glad of this much
amazed at what can take place
in those images of my mind
i behold your face in the distance
untainted in its image
and untouched

ALL U NEED IS YO-SELF!!...

Resolved
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1999]



…i don't need your love
i have the architecture of the city streets!
bottle of booze by my feet
burning brand of a cigarette butt
to light my way through the night
stranger's embrace to set me upon a winged flight

…i don't need your love
i have the journey of a thousand years
within the wrinkled pages of a discarded book!
a stolen wink of a passerby
a flirtatious look
screeching sound of an ambulance
leaving tire tracks upon my life
got a switchblade knife to get me out of any strife
a busted paycheck to stretch me into next week
a box of pork fried rice and a token booth
to watch the freaks in a peak on the sneak

…i don't need your love
'cause i love myself!
yeah, i be in a corner store reading books on self-help
ride the D train from forty-duce to 212th
get caught out in the rain on 110th street just for my health
trying to make a magic genie beam me up
from delusions off rising from poverty to shameless wealth
i'm in a world all to myself!

like i said…
i don't need your love
or your pity
i got the license to be me
i got the license to be free!
…to roam the city

"SUFFER IN SILENCE, U!!"...

Dirge
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1997]



And to this end
May we ever be struggling
In vain for the one and only opportunity
To feel whole and to distance ourselves from our destiny.

To mourn the past once and for good, and
To never look back upon the path whence
We shall never travel again. And in darkened hours
To grope with the certain success of failure for
The life to which we futilely grasp.

And to this end may we sigh the breath
Of sorrow, and regret the path unto which
We alone have chosen, the path into oblivion.

To seek forever in vain the light again through cracks
And crevices of caves lodged deep within the bowels
Of the heart of the earth; ancient and furlong,
Breathless and eternal, unlike the exhalation
Of life that we have been in the sight
Of God.

And to dream of paradise, a memory
Too distant and too far away, like a dream
Abruptly ended and then forgotten.

Only to awaken to another day of darkness,
Pitched in its own insistence upon darkness,
Unyielding and unforgiving, promising eternity
In its own way.

So down we fall into oblivion,
A fall so permanent and absolute
That inertia and motion are all the same.
And all anticipation of cessation have vanished
Along with any hope of escape from futility.
Where there is no wind like the wind that once
Caressed our face when we were alive and roamed
The earth freely, basking in the warmth of the
Mortal sun.

But, in the fathomless darkness, like a match
Struck in a concealed place, there is a flicker of hope,
Faint and lonely, fragile like a passing thought,
Existing on its own energy, drawing substance from

Nowhere. The light flickers until we futilely grasp for it only
To clumsily extinguish the fledgling light with our own hands.

And now we are all eternal, eternally hopeless,
Falling together without any knowledge of light;
Without knowledge of falling, and for all we know
The entire world and all existing systems of order
Outside of the void have long since vanished and are not.

And only we are, and what we are we do not know,
Nor do we care to know, for all knowledge is
Incomprehensible in the heart of the void, which is now
The only world in which we need to know. And all sense
Of time as it was once known in the world is forever
Forgotten and forever lost.

And soon our consciousness reaches viscosity
Due to the lack of thought other than eternity
A thought too weighty and nigh, too wearisome
And cumbersome to struggle with.

Yes, therefore our minds gladly accept the abrasion
Of mental viscosity, a haven from thought,
And a silent and peaceful path into eternity.

EYE AIN'T GOT NOTHING 2 SAY....

UNQUALIFIED
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1999]



I fucked-up
I'm fucked-up
I said too much
I'm out of touch
I overate
I'm overweight
I took a trip
I flipped the script
I twisted my hip
I busted my lip
I broke your heart
I fell apart
I'm not so smart
I don't know why
I want to cry
I want to die
I want to try…
I want to fly
I want to fry!
I want you back
I fell off track
I need a slap
I feel so trapped!
I threw a fit
I feel like shit
I want a hit
I want to fit
I want to know
I want to show
I want to flow
I made a mistake
I'm just a fake
I'm just a snake
I want the cake
I'm gonna break!
I want to pray
I want you to stay
I want you to go-away
I like to play
I'm out of line
I'm out of time
I'm out of my mind!
I'm just not cut out
I'm just blown out
I wanna shout!
I wanna pout…
I'm so fucked-up
I'm all-shook-up
I want you back
Hey, I fell off track!
-OK?

TEARS OF PEARLS...

Shells
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1999]



As we fell
into the land of shells
we landed upon the daffodils
but all that we behold
behind this great veil
is but a construct
of our tears…

YEP...YEP...YEP!!!...

Stream of Life
by"OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1999]



Sit back and have myself a cup of steam/buy myself a bottle of dreams/sit back and watch the stream/of life pass me by/sit back and have myself a smoke/tell myself a joke/wonder why I'm so damned broke/watching the stream of life pass me by/I raise my eyes to the sky/and ask God why/I cant' have some piece of the pie/he bought/sit back and pull myself a joint/and try to focus upon a point of reason and hope/'cause I'm running out of rope/I'm running out of dope/yeah, you go for broke when it's drinks and smokes/and all of your hope goes down the drain/and you're feeling no pain while you're dancing in the rain/'cause your life's been in vain/and your past is just a stain/and a distant mote/while you row, row, row, your boat/gently over the waterfalls/and all the while your agent calls/to tell you that you missed your chance of becoming a big movie star/but really, you knew that star was a bit/too far for you/to catch/so you say, 'what the hell', as you fumble the shells/and load your revolver to go see how the west was won/but you put down the gun 'cause you realize no one's really gonna come/to your funeral anyway/so you look back up at the sky/and ask God why can't some one else be in your place/yeah, have the same name/wear the same face/wear the same clothes/be of the same race/eat the same food/and shit in the same place/so you resign yourself to who you are/Haley's comet's fallen star/turned black hole is born again/another life to mourn again/in vain/as you sit down on the curb of the street/and wash your dirty feet in the mud filled rain/of the stream/of life/rolling, rolling, rolling/goodbye

ROOTS...

Grandfather/Me

by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1990]



my grandfather was a great man
but i didn’t get to know him
baldhead obscured behind apple scented tobacco clouds
eyes telling the story of a lost generation’s negro struggle
“we shall over come…we shall over…”
come with me, grandson, back to the deep woods of the blackberry south
the wide mouth-cooking pan
fried eggs over easy
and the hammering nails into the coffin of a silent black man
the rising choir of a sweaty baptist church
the rickety weather beaten porch
and homemade fishing line snatching perch

centuries old african talmudic legends told
under the pitter patter of a rusty roof made of steel
big black knuckled john henry’s hands
gripping the wide steering wheel
of a truck as it struggles to climb a hill
“over the hills and through the woods…”
i wish i could take a walk down your memory lane
in your unbuffed and tattered boots
“shine, sir?”
“what you call me?”
amazing grace awaiting moses to part the sea
thin, nineteen twenties cotton club mustache shading his lips
untold signs and secret masonic shakes and
grips to dash to pieces the plate
‘cause dinner’s late and he can’t wait
another three-score-and-ten
‘cause hypertension’s setting in
and he’s getting a little thin

my grandfather died with a greasy mechanic’s tool in his hand
and with him all his secrets perished
the mystery of the southern virginia woods
and all the things i could’ve cherished
now, sepia coloured pictures are staring back at me
in snapshot-time-frozen-mirrored-material
of an old negro spiritual
link to my three generation’s separated soul
and at three generations finally fulfilled
i think i know, on this day
what in his own silent brown eyes’ way
my grandfather’s eye were trying to say

ACCORDING TO THE BURRITO THEORY...IF U TRAVEL FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT...U'll EVENTUALLY RUN INTO YOUR OWN ASS...

…I am a man, and
My empty mind is a road map!
-Lordlumiel the Wise








Sand Castles
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 2000]



i think i’ll build a sand castle
to be my mime
to make a parable of
this timeless time…

i am what i am which
is altogether nothing standing
upon the shores of a naked
beach-naked save my pondering
frown

listening with one ear to
the sound of the waves lapping
to the loneliness of my heart beating
to the rhythms of some ancient universe

a visionary!
Ezekiel waiting with
teary eyes for the fiery-wheeled chariot
to reclaim him once again
redemption too far for me now
too far
now only the sighs
and the rustling ocean wind

i am what i am which is
altogether nothing
like the grains of sand underneath
my feet warming my toes
the current pulls and the eddies flow
pulling the sand and the earth
and the seaweeds below

o.k.
i’m not the enlightened one
no salvation…
no touch but the
gritty sand in between my toes

wait a minute…
i hear the rush of wind
a cloud dark but luminous descends
and lo!
it’s Ezekiel’s chariot! a tugboat
hauling lobsters
no…

remember, no matter how much
the waves ebb and flow
it adds up to the same
…nothing
like the sum of all
the atoms in the universe

am i the universe?
and, alas! i know
why stars give up their souls
and burst spewing forth
cosmic dust like grains of sand
forever more
like my scattering thoughts
upon the ocean shore
out…
into the great void
that was the curve of time

i think i’ll build a sand castle
to be my mime
to make a parable of
this timeless time…

ALL U NEED IZ LOVE!...

LOVE
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1995]



i fired a volley over
into your camp and
decimated one-third of your troops
but i didn’t see the land mines that
you so carefully placed in the field which
destroyed about half of my infantry
but that’s ok, because my air strike
was simply masterful and my
carpet-bombing completely obliterated the rest of
your tank forces!

oh, but now you want to negotiate
a truce? i think not!
if you were really Rommel you
would’ve kept on advancing past my borderline
defenses in a tight knitted phalanx
yeah, i know that i may be running out of
ammo, but no ‘Russian winter’s’ gonna stall me now…

though you got sidewinders i got patriot missiles
though you got nerve gas i got serine
oh! but you really don’t want to ‘press the button’!
‘cause my SDI’s will definitely detect
the heat from your missiles before
they launch from their silos
and blast the smithereens out of them
in mid-air, and my counter strike
will wipe out all of your bombers before they
can even get off the ground!!!

so hear me out…
i’m offering you your last chance to
surrender to my love…
you’ve got until tomorrow to
send another communication

THE MIND IS A TERRIBLE THANG 2 WASTE!...

IQ’s PARADOX
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1995]



They put you in a chair
And this is what they do
They give you a pen and paper
And start grading your I.Q.

“What’s the difference between the ocean and the sea?”
“What’s the difference between the numbers 41 and 23?”
I don’t know! And neither do you
But this is what happens
When they’re grading your I.Q.

“What’s the theory of relativity all about?”
“How far must you walk into a forest before you’re walking out?”
I don’t care! And neither do you
But this is what happens when they’re grading your I.Q.

If they can figure out that two-square equals four
Then they ought to get together and end the threat of nuclear war
“What’s the difference between a saucer and a cup?”
Who cares if the universe’s expanding
If our world’s blowing up

I don’t care! And neither should you
Instead of trying to save our world
They’re grading our I.Q.’s

IN SEARCH OF LIGHT!...

The Traveler
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1990]



Begin:

This lonely path I trod
This body bent over steel rod
And mesh
Fashioned into a man of flesh
Scarred by the stylus of time
The unyielding sound of the
Sculpture’s hammer chiseling
My will and my mind

Cast into the light of the furnace
All too soon
The dross of reasoning’s brushed aside
No time to cry for lo!
I AM!
Born to pass by noon
The sun’s so high it’s blinding
My eyes! I bow before its
Wrath and I say not, ‘I AM
What I AM’ but that I have
No other choice but to descend
This path

Rain falls but yet
I AM still cold
Fires descend upon a world
So old simmering me like coals
From the flame that I once was
A being of light!
Wrapped tight
In the tattered garment of a man

Before me stretches forth the land
The traveler’s bag’s within my
Hand and I
I turn my back toward the west
With resolve heavy within my breast
To let my journey
Begin…

THEY SAY THERE'S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL...I DUNNO, I'M JUST A POET...& WHAT NOT...

“As for me,
I should prefer death
To hopeless bondage”
-Frederick Douglas




Death By Suicide
by "OBSIDIAN!!!" [Excerp from "Zen is Now" c. 1995]



A pinprick
Like a pillow buff in
An awakening dream…
And we are free to
Roam the arid lands
And vistas of our imagination
Like a spirit
Finally unshackled
From the prison bonds
Of this worn out illusion…

A gunshot
A burst of noise followed
By the burning smell
Of fire and we
Have stepped through
The wall of flame
Which conceals our true desire

Behind the veil of time
Transferred back to the place
Of our beginnings
Our wanderlust set free
To traverse the plains
Of…
Our fantasies run wild

Once again we
Are a child
The memory of guilt suffused
In the unburdening of soul
Like plankton set free to
Drift from the concentric
Prison of time…
A mere portal and a door
We have finally reached the
Shores of our dreams

No longer to awaken
And to fall like abandoned
Angels to this world
A mere scroll of thought
Made to rip away and to
Unfurl…
To open our eyes to the truth
The unveiling of eternal youth
A soul set free to soar
The winds of whim…