Hobo Handbook: Memoirs of a Homeless Poet in New York (Excerpt #26)

THE HOBO HANDBOOK: MEMOIRS OF A HOMELESS POET IN NEW YORK

 By Daniel Canada c.2010

 CHAPTER THREE

PERSONALITIES OF THE HOMELESS (Continued)

FRANK AND BEANS is an example of a man who managed to pull himself up by his own bootstraps. The reason I call him "Frank and Beans" is because his name is Frank. That's all. I wish I could provide you with some more clever reason, or profound history associated with his name, but I can’t. So, there it is. 

Anyway, when I first met "Frank and Beans" he was an ex-convict, who found himself homeless. But "Frank and Beans" was determined to make something out of his life. He enrolled into a technical school after getting public assistance, studied computer networking, and actually graduated. He rolled his sleeves up, and went out searching for and landed a decent job in a respectable company. He even got himself a modest apartment, for he and his wife, through section 8.

 

What "Frank and Beans" demonstrates, is that anyone can change their circumstance, regardless of what their life is like, if they put forth their best effort. 

Good luck "Frank and Beans." You’re a true inspiration and I salute you!

 

NINJA is a perfect example of a person who's lost all sense of corporeality. This kind of rodeo clown judges the world by his own selfish set of rules, and attempts to punish the world with the same. "Ninja" is the kind of homeless person that is so full of self-vituperation that he manages to shoot himself in the foot, to spite his sneakers. "Ninja” gets thrown out of almost every soup kitchen he shows up to. Now, this is not a prudent thing, when you consider that one needs to have access to as many soup kitchens as possible, so one doesn't starve to death.

 

But No!

"Ninja" insists on stirring a tempest in a teapot at every soup kitchen and church his dark shadow falls upon. So, in response to this kind of habitual behavior, the homeless have formed cliques to oust him from their eating establishments. Some have even gone as far as making plans to catch him outside unawares, and throw him a good beating. You see where all this is going, don't you? As a result, I see "Ninja" less and less each week. Maybe it's for the better, for us all. Now, the rest of the homeless and “Skeksies” can eat in relative peace, without having to result to clobbering somebody on an empty stomach. 

 

To avoid falling into the trap of becoming a "Ninja," try to be as amicable as possible, with the fellow homeless people you're going to share a meal table. As the saying goes, “You can catch more bees with honey.” 

"Ninja,” may the road rise to meet you.

 

When you fall on your face.

(To be continued...)